Never Gonna Give Up
by banana-milk-shake
Summary: Lissa Anderson is the new girl at school (yes, it's another new kid story, haha). She's already got her eye on Marco but there's one tiny problem... he's gay. Meanwhile, Ellie still stuggles with her SI problem. R&R please. [Chapter 4 up! Finally!]
1. New School, New Beginnings

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Author's Note: This is my first fanficiton, so please be easy on me! Ha ha.

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Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or any of the characters associated with the show. I do own Lissa, though. Now that that's cleared up, here's the story!

~*~

Lissa Anderson's black BMW pulled up to an unfamiliar school. She turned her gaze out the window and sighed, really annoyed at the situation at hand.

*Great, a new school, new people. Just what I need.* She thought glumly. *Why did my parents have to take me to this new hell?* Lissa's old school wasn't much better, though. Everyone back at Redwood Hills insisted on labeling her as 'punk' or 'Goth' because of her clothes, usually consisting of all black, and her naturally dark brown hair and dark eyes. She hated it, like she hated all of the 'popular' people that always threw parties that she was never invited to. Lissa didn't care, though, all she needed was her best friend, Maggie.

Maggie was the best, Lissa would always go over to her house and they would chat, hang out and watch movies. Maggie would never get invited to Lissa's house, though, because of the little fact that she was filthy rich. Lissa would surely miss her.

Then, her mother's voice lifted her out of her nostalgia. "Lissa, darling, we're here." She said, looking back at her daughter.

"Yeah… I know." Lissa said, thoroughly miserable. 

"Oh, come on, Liss, it won't be that bad, you'll see." Her mother said, trying to cheer Lissa up… it wasn't working.

"Mom, why did you and Dad have to send me to this place? Why did we have to move?" Lissa whined. She obviously didn't want to get out of the car. She knew she was acting immature.

"Lissa, if you don't get in there, you're going to be late." Her mother warned. Lissa sighed and finally pushed the door open to the car and slowly (very slowly) walked into Degrassi Community School.

~*~

When Lissa walked into the school, the first thing she saw was a red-headed girl who was dressed differently than the other people that were surrounding her (like Lissa). She was talking to another girl, with short, dark hair, who was also dressed differently. Then, when she shifted her gaze, she saw a preppy-looking blonde haired girl, who was chatting with an equally looking preppy African American girl. They were giggling, when a 'popular' looking boy walked up to them and started talking to them, also. Lissa scowled.

*I see this school isn't much different from my old school.* She thought. Then she realized that she had no idea where to go, or where the office was. She sighed yet again, and knew she was going to ask somebody. She decided on asking the red-headed girl. She didn't dare ask that preppy girl and her jock boyfriend. 

"Excuse me, do you know where the office is?" Lissa asked the red-head timidly.

"Yeah, I can show it to you if you want me to." The girl replied. That was a good start. At least the girl didn't shove her off. "Can you excuse me, Ash?" The other girl, now known as Ash, nodded.

"Thanks," Lissa replied. She then followed the girl down an unfamiliar hallway (AN: Well, the whole school is unfamiliar to her, but you know what I mean. Anyway…) 

"So," the red-headed girl started, "Are you new here at Degrassi?" she asked. 

"Yeah," Lissa answered, "I'm Alissa, but you can call me Lissa." 

"Ellie," she said, holding out her hand. Lissa shook it uncertainly. No one had ever greeted her that nicely at Redwood Hills. They walked in silence until they came to a door.

"Here's the office." Ellie said, turning to Lissa.

"Thanks."

"No problem," Ellie said, "Hey, maybe we'll have some classes together."

"Maybe," Lissa said, obviously not feeling comfortable with Ellie yet.

"See ya," Ellie said, then she walked off leaving Lissa at the office door. She carefully pushed the door open and walked in.

~*~

"So, you're new at this school… you must be Alissa Anderson." A stern looking man said to Lissa. She squirmed. Her book bag straps were starting to cut into her skin, but that wasn't the reason. She didn't like the way the man was looking at her. *What is this guy's problem? Does he have something against people who dress this way? God, you think an adult would be a little more mature…*

'This guy', as Lissa had called him, was obviously the principal. She read his name on the desk, 'Mr. Raditch'. *Raditch… sounds like 'radish'* Lissa thought, amusing herself. Mr. Raditch could tell that she wasn't listing.

"Young lady, I'm speaking to you. Did you hear what I said about your schedule? Obviously not, as you were staring out into space," Raditch said, answering his own question. "Here… here's your schedule," he handed a piece of paper to her, "Your homeroom is Media Immersion. I'll have Delores (AN: the secretary… I made up the name, okay, I'm done interrupting) show you where that is. And your locker number is 743 and your combination is on the paper that your schedule's on. I'll write you a hall pass." Raditch finished. 

He finished scribbling on a piece of paper and handed it to Lissa. "Okay, do you have any questions?" Raditch asked her.

"No, sir." Lissa said awkwardly. *Jeez, he sure is trying to get rid of me.*

"Good, then Delores will escort you out." Raditch said, motioning to the secretary at the desk. She nodded back at Raditch.

Lissa got out of her seat and walked out the door with the door with the secretary. 

~*~

They walked through the halls in silence. Lissa occasionally glanced at the secretary who seemed to be looking bored. She could tell that she had done this many times before. Just then, they arrived at her locker number.

"Here's your locker," the secretary said, sounding as bored as she looked. "Your class is over there." She pointed to a door just to the left of Lissa. Then she left. 

*Wow, she sure sounded thrilled.* Lissa thought again. She pulled her book bag off and set it on the floor. She looked at her schedule and at the very top was her combination. *What's the deal with putting the combo on my schedule? Anyone can see it…* She rolled her eyes and tried the combination.

*10... 35... 42...* She tried to get the lock off, but it stayed locked. *Damn locker.* Lissa thought, thoroughly pissed. This day was not going great. 

"Come on," She said to herself. *10... 35... 42...* She tried again, but no avail. "Damn it!" she cursed. She looked desperately down the hallway for the secretary, but knew that she was long gone by now. *Stupid bitch, she shouldn't have walked off like that.* Lissa knew that her last hope was to go into her homeroom class and ask someone for help.

She picked up her army printed book bag and walked into another foreign room. She saw the same preppy girl that she saw out in the hallway, and her friend. She saw their jock boyfriends, too. But to her amazement, she saw Ellie sitting at the last computer sitting with a REALLY cute, dark haired boy. Everyone was staring at her. She looked to the right and saw a bald man sitting at his desk typing on a bright green laptop. She walked over to him.

"Um… sir?" The bald man looked up from his computer and frowned. 

"Yes?" he asked, annoyed at her interrupting his work.

"I-I'm Lissa Anderson, I'm new here." she said pathetically. "I had to go to the office to get my schedule, and my locker wouldn't open…" Lissa started, but the man cut her off.

"Oh!" he immediately stood up. Lissa looked up at him. He was really tall.

"Everyone! Attention please!" the man started, he turned to Lissa and put a hand on her shoulder. "This is Alissa Anderson, she's new here at Degrassi. Please everyone make her feel welcome here." He glanced at the blonde haired prep and her friends as they giggled and whispered something about 'vampire' and 'Goth'. Lissa already hated them.

"Alissa, I'm Mr. Simpson. You can take a seat next to Ellie and Marco." Mr. Simpson said, and pointed back to them.

"Okay," she said, and walked over to them. Ellie seemed pleased to see her here.

"Hey," She whispered. "What a coincidence!" Lissa smiled.

She glanced at the boy sitting next to her. *Oh my gosh, he is so hot!* Lissa thought. She could feel her face getting red. She knew she looked as red as a beet, and Ellie knew she was staring.

"Oh, Lissa, this is Marco. Marco, this is Lissa." Ellie introduced us. He smiled at her. Lissa thought her heart was going to melt. 

"Nice to meet you." He said, winking at her. Lissa knew her face was about ten shades of red right now. She tried to hide it with her hair.

"Y-yeah." She stuttered, not bothering to look at him.

*Gosh, talk about embarrassing! My face looks like a tomato right now. Ugh, this day is not going very great, I'm already embarrassing myself…* Lissa thought, feeling really stupid. She sighed and started staring at her blank computer, wondering what the class was doing at the same time, but not really caring. All she could think about was Marco already. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Hey, I had to end it somewhere… anyway, REVIEW! Review's make me happy and when I'm happy, I update sooner. Tell me if you like it, hate it, whatever. See ya!

Till next time, 

banana-milk-shake


	2. Embarrassing Situations

Wow, five reviews in one chappie, thanks guys! :D You keep reviewing, and I'll keep the chapters coming! Okay, here's chapter two!

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Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or any of the characters associated with the show. I do own Lissa, though. 

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In this chapter: Lissa (of course), Ellie, Ashley, Marco, Paige, Spinner and Lissa's driver, Charles.

~*~

After that rather _embarrassing _Media Immersion class, Lissa made it her privilege to stay as far away from Marco as possible. As she headed out to her locker at the start of the next period, she saw a rather familiar blonde and her boyfriend passionately kissing next to her locker. Lissa scowled.

*Just what I need, prep girl and her jock making out next to my locker… perfect.* Lissa thought. She didn't know why she was going to her locker, since she forgot to ask someone to help her get it open, but she decided to try it again. She tapped the kissing couple on the shoulder.

"Excuse me? Could you kindly move. I need to get in my locker." Lissa asked, really annoyed. The blonde girl stopped kissing her boyfriend and gave a teasing smirk at Lissa. 

"Well, look who it is, it's the new school vampire," The girl said arrogantly, "Hun, shouldn't you be locked in your room? I thought vampires only came out at night." She smiled, obviously teasing Lissa. She didn't have time for the stupid bitch, though.

"Look," Lissa started, "I need to get to class, so _move._" Lissa said. The blonde didn't move, so Lissa pushed her out of the way.

"Hey, don't push my girlfriend, you freak." Came the voice of her jock boyfriend. Lissa rolled her eyes and ignored them. She was concentrating, well, _begging _her locker to open.

"Come on, honeybee, let's go." the boy said, and the finally left Lissa alone, struggling with her locker. She stopped and looked at the clock… two minutes until class started. 

*Shit! If I hadn't been wasting time with that perfect little prep girl and her stupid ass of a boyfriend, I could've had my locker open by now.* Lissa again was struggling with her locker, when she heard the voice of the person that she'd been trying to avoid. 

"Need some help with that?"

Lissa immediately froze. *Oh crap.* Was the only thing she could think. She slowly turned around and came face-to-face with the guy of her dreams (AN: Corny, I know…). 

"Y-yeah. Umm…" Lissa stuttered. She knew she sounded like an idiot. She nervously pushed her bangs out of her eyes. Marco lightly pushed by her. "What's your combination?" he asked Lissa nicely.

"10, 35, 42," Lissa said nervously. *God, why me?* Lissa thought.

Her locker came open immediately. Lissa was impressed. "Gosh, that was fast! Umm… thanks." Lissa said, feeling really stupid that Marco had gotten her locker open so quickly when she had been struggling with it for awhile. 

"Yeah, no problem. You have to remember to turn the dial to the right three times before you do the combination." Marco said, and winked at Lissa again. *Why does he have to do that?* She thought, *Unless he just wants to embarrass me…* Lissa felt her face grow even hotter than it previously was. 

"Umm, I've got to get to class." Lissa said, her gaze fixed on the floor. She didn't dare look at him. 

"What's your next class?" Marco asked her trying to meet her gaze, but Lissa's eyes stayed fixed on the floor.

"English," Lissa muttered, wanting desperately to get rid of him. She was almost positive that she couldn't have two classes in a row with him… that would be torture. To her dismay, he answered:

"Great! That's what I have! We can walk together." Lissa looked at him out of the corner of her eye. He smiled at her. She could see that he had two rows of braces.

Lissa sighed and knew that she had no choice but to walk with him. They entered the classroom (with

Marco showing her where it was, of course) just in time. 

~*~

Marco took a seat next to Lissa, after Ms. Kwan told her how pleased she was to have her in her class and that she hoped that Lissa would have a great year here at Degrassi. 

*Shit, why does he have to sit next to me? This is so annoying… I guess trying to avoid him isn't going to work.* Lissa thought, glumly. She tried to pay attention to Ms. Kwan's lesson, but her thoughts kept drifting to Marco. She thought of the way his dark hair fell into his beautiful dark eyes, she thought of the way his aforementioned eyes crinkled up when he smiled at her. It was quite obvious that she liked him.

Lissa decided that she'd better pay _some _attention to Kwan's lesson if she wanted to prevent her face from turning bright red because of her thoughts of Marco. She could feel someone tap her on the shoulder. It was Marco.

"Hey, I saw you were being harassed by Paige out there," He whispered.

"Paige? Who's Paige?" Lissa asked, "Do you mean that arrogant little blonde out there?" She whispered, barely audible, to him. 

"Yeah," he replied, "You'd better stay away from her…" Marco whispered back to her.

"Believe me, I'm not trying to be her friend or anything. Her or her stupid ass boyfriend." Lissa laughed, but Marco didn't laugh with her.

"Umm… Lissa? Spinner's kind of my friend." Marco said, looking away from Lissa and now staring at the board that Ms. Kwan was now writing on. She looked shocked.

"What? You actually communicate with _him?_" Lissa asked, really shocked. How could Marco, her love, actually _talk _to people like that? It was kind of obvious that he would be popular because of his looks, but he was much nicer than Paige and Spinner were.

Marco didn't answer her. Lissa thought that was rather rude. She didn't press him on the subject though, as she finally decided to pay attention to Ms. Kwan, just as the bell rang.

"Remember, class, the essay will be due on Friday, at the start of class!" Ms. Kwan shouted after the class as they exited the room. *Oh crap, essay? What essay?* Lissa thought. Maybe if she had been paying more attention instead of talking to Marco, she would've heard. Lissa was mentally kicking herself.

~*~

It was now time for lunch, (AN: Yes I skipped a few periods… for those of you that are wondering, Lissa has Algebra III 3rd period, and then she has Advanced Biology 4th period. Also, Marco doesn't have those classes with her. Okay, on with the story…) and Lissa had no idea where to sit. She searched around for Ellie and Marco, and saw them sitting in a corner with the dark haired girl… she couldn't remember her name… that Ellie was talking to earlier that day. She smiled and walked over to them. 

"Hey, Lissa." Ellie smiled. She looked pleased to see her.

"Hey," Lissa said back. "Can I sit here?" She asked.

"Of course!" Ellie said, and motioned to a chair next to Marco. Lissa was reluctant, of course to sit _there_, but she had no choice. She pulled out the chair and sat awkwardly next to Marco.

"Oh Lissa, I forgot to introduce you to Ashley," Ellie pointed to the dark haired girl, "Ash, Lissa. Lissa, Ash." Ellie said quickly. 

"Nice to meet you," Ashley said nicely. Lissa still wasn't used to being greeted nicely. But she still greeted her back nicely, also.

"Nice to meet you, too." Lissa said.

"So, Lissa, did you have English yet?" Ellie asked her, "That assignment Kwan gave us sounds brutal." 

"Yeah, I had it… with Marco. But I wasn't really paying attention. Could you tell me what it was?" Lissa said, quickly. Maybe she shouldn't have added the 'with Marco' part, because a blush creeped up her cheeks. 

"It's a 1,000 word essay on 'If you could change your life, how would you do it' or something like that," Ashley said. "I could think of a least 100 ways I would change my life. Maybe it's not going to be as bad as it sounds." She laughed. They all laughed with her.

"Why weren't you paying attention, Lissa? Too busy flirting with Marco?" Ellie asked teasingly. Lissa felt her face get as red as a tomato as it had for about the 100th time today. She tried to hide it with her hair.

"Umm… no. Flirting? Why would you say that?" Lissa asked. *Eek, this is so embarrassing! Is Ellie trying to be funny? This is **not **funny.* Lissa thought.

"Actually, we were talking about Paige." Marco said and rolled his eyes. 

"Ugh, why would you want to talk about _her_?" Ellie asked. She started to make choking sounds and Ashley giggled. Lissa was far too embarrassed about the 'flirting with Marco' comment to laugh at that.

"Yeah, she's all like, 'Hi, I'm Paige Michalchuk, ruler of this school. I have like, perfect hair, a perfect body and a like, perfect boyfriend, my sugar bear, Spinner.'" Ashley said, imitating Paige. The group continued to talk about Paige and school until lunch ended. Lissa got up, bid farewell to Ashley, Ellie and Marco and headed to her next class.

~*~

As school ended, (AN: Skipping ahead, the rest of her day is boring and I don't want to bore you all. 5th period: Phys. Ed., 6th period: Painting II, 7th period: Advanced History, 8th period: Study Hall… and she has Phys. Ed. and Study Hall with Marco, Ellie, Paige, Jimmy and Ashley. Anyway…) she bid farewell to Ashley, Ellie and Marco and stepped out of Degrassi Community School to meet her mom. To her dismay, her mom had brought the limo to pick her up. Lissa rolled her eyes. The whole point was to keep people from knowing she was rich. Why couldn't her parents have sent the Lincoln or the BMW? Lissa walked over to the limo as her driver, Charles, pulled the door open for her. 

"Here you are, Miss Alissa." Charles said courteously. Lissa rolled her eyes again. *Why does he have to call me that?* He slowly got into the limo and started up the engine. 

"Hurry up, Charlie. People are starting to stare." Lissa said to him mockingly. She knew that he hated her calling him that as much as she hated him calling her 'Miss Alissa'.

"I don't see why you care what people think, Miss Alissa," Charles said, "I'd think it would be nice to show off your wealth." He smiled, probably wishing he was as rich as Lissa's family was.

"Yeah, yeah, come on. Let's just go." Lissa said, and she waved Charles on. He sighed and they pulled out of the parking lot and were off to Lissa's house. She was really glad that the window's were tinted. She didn't want ANYONE, especially Marco, to know she was rich. Lissa looked at the floor of the limo, and reached and opened the secret compartment, not even her parent's knew was built into the limo. Inside was her diary. She reached into her book bag and pulled out a pen and opened to a new page and began to write.

Dear Diary,

Wednesday, the first of September, 2004. 

As you probably know, today was the first day of school. It was rather embarrassing (because of a certain someone… I'll get to that later), but it was also exiting at the same time. You know, I thought Degrassi was going to be just like my old school and I was right. We all have labels, and I'm the gothic vampire. No surprise. But I also met a lot of nice people. I already made three new friends, which is more than I've ever had. I bet if I flashed around my wealth like Charles just said, I'd have more friends than I do now… my clothes would probably be the new fashion trend. I don't care, though because I don't need popularity. I mean, who wants to walk around like an airhead all day? I surely don't…

Anyway, back to the topic (I hate when I do that)… I met some really cool people. Ellie, who like me, hates labels and preppies. Ashley, who is probably the same as Ellie, and Marco, who is the new love of my life. I know I'm rushing into things, I hardly even know the guy, but he seems like a really nice person. And what a looker! :D Everything about Marco is perfect. His hair, his eyes… yummy!

But there is one downside to the guy of my dreams, (which I'm now calling him, please don't tell me how corny that is…) he's actually friends with some of the popular people… but you know, he's not rude about it or anything. When he told me, I absolutely couldn't believe it. At the same time, I could, you know? I mean, he's HOT. He probably has a girlfriend… I'd absolutely die! Well, I've got to go. We're home. 

Lissa xoxo.

~*~

Okay, you people got a treat because that chapter was especially long… I think it was boring, I mean, nothing much happened, but you tell me what you think! As I said, you people keep reviewing and the chapters will come sooner. 

Till next time,

banana-milk-shake


	3. Blood, Pain, Tears and Arguments

Hey guys! :D Thanks for all the support, and the reviews! I've just found out that fanfiction was down for a while on the 25th and lost four of my reviews… :C that's a major sad face. Oh well…

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Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or any of the characters associated with the show. I do own Lissa, though.

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Thanks to:

__

karenandmarcofan

Yelak- I think I'm going to make Dylan in the story a little bit later.

__

sister-cousin 

smoothNcreamy 

aisha

Lauran

Sorry if I forgot you!

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In this chapter: Ellie, Ellie's mom, Lissa, Lissa's parents, Ashley, and Marco.

Onward…

~*~

Ellie pulled the key out of her book bag and slowly unlocked the door. She dreaded entering her house because she knew that she was going to find her mom in her usual state: passed out on the couch from all her booze. A tear slowly trickled down her cheek as she thought of all the nights she spent alone, holding a knife to her arm, trying to release all of the pain. With no support from her mom, and her dad off to war, Ellie knew that was her only choice. To help sooth some of her pain.

She sighed and braced herself for the scene. She pushed the door open and to no surprise, her mom was seemingly unconscious on the couch, bottles of vodka and wine scattered all over the coffee table and littering the floor. Her mother was a mess, her hair uncombed, bags under her eyes, and she was visibly gaining weight.

"Mom?" Ellie said softly. There was no response from her mother. Ellie rolled her eyes and threw her book bag on the couch next to her mother. *Why does this have to happen to me?* She thought sadly.

"Mom!" Ellie started to shake her mother, but again no response, not even the usual groan. "Mom, why do you do this to me?" Ellie shouted, tears streaming her cheeks. Her makeup was running into her eyes. She didn't care.

"WAKE UP!" Ellie screamed, but to no avail. *Maybe something is really wrong.* She thought, kind of concerned. But her concern was short lived as her mother let out her usual groan. Ellie again rolled her eyes. She picked up her book bag and headed to the kitchen. She opened the cabinet and pulled out a steak knife. 

Ellie immediately pulled down her striped arm warmer and lifted the knife to her wrist. She pulled the knife down her wrist as if she was used to this (AN: Well, she _was _used to it… okay…). She watched the blood drip into the sink, enjoying the comfort that it was giving her. 

*Now that that's done, I might as well start my homework.* Ellie thought. With one final glance at her mom, she went up to her room and slammed the door shut. She didn't care about the groan of agony she heard downstairs from her mother.

~*~

Lissa entered her humongous house, greeted at the door by her butler. He took her coat and book bag (AN: Do butler's do that? Ha ha, I don't know) and Lissa's mom and dad came out from the living room. 

"Lissa!" Her mother smiled at her, pleased to see her. She wrapped her arms around her daughter and said, "How was your first day?" 

"Ugh, mom don't even ask. I think I made a big fool out of myself." Lissa replied, looking at the floor. Her mother looked concerned for some reason.

"A fool?" Her mother asked, "Why do you say that?" They walked into the living room together and took a seat on the couch. Her father was seated in his leather chair, just to the left of them. He was talking on the phone.

"Because… well…" Lissa started. *Gosh, here it comes. Why did I have to mention the 'making a fool out of myself' thing? I never tell her who I like.* Lissa thought, still staring at the floor, thinking. Her mother waited for her to continue.

"Well, I kind of like this boy. But you know, I don't know if I really like him in that way because well, I just met him today but he seems like a really nice person. I just, I know I like him because every time I'm around him my face turns red like a cherry and I get all nervous and--" Lissa rambled. She immediately felt embarrassed again and her face lit up red.

"Honey, I don't know what to tell you." Was all her mother could say. Lissa looked stunned. *Okay, I confide in her and this is was I get? 'I don't know what to tell you' what kind of an answer is that?* Lissa thought, really annoyed with her mother. 

Lissa mumbled a "Thanks a lot." To her mother and started up the marble staircase to her room. But her father's voice stopped her.

"Lissa, I need your help with something." Lissa rolled her eyes. Usually when her father said that, or even talked to her it was about business. Just as she expected, her father rambled on and on about his business agreement. Lissa tuned out most of it with thoughts of Marco. When her father realized she wasn't listening, he sighed.

"Lissa, how do you expect to succeed in life if you don't even listen to what I have to say?" Her father asked impatiently. Lissa scowled.

"Dad, I _always _listen to you. I listened to you when you were talking about the Johnston agreement. I listened to you when you said something about the Keppleburgs' yacht and how you thought that it was a piece of trash and is unreasonable to sell at $500,000. I even listened to you when we were watching TV that one night and you rambled on and on about the stock market and price changes. You know what father? The problem is you never listen to _me._" Lissa stated, surprising herself. She never stood up to her father like that. But he just laughed and said:

"Of course I wasn't listening to you. I was talking to my business partner in the US. He was talking about making it big…" Her father droned on and on. *See? This is exactly what I'm talking about.* Lissa tuned him out then and walked up to her room. 

~*~

The next day at school, after talking to her mom about Charles and the limousine, her mother decided that they should take the BMW from now on. But it wasn't easy, Lissa had to do a lot of begging and pleading with her. 

"Thanks for the ride, Mom." Lissa said and stepped out of the car and into the school quickly. She saw Ellie talking to Marco and Ashley and walked over to greet them.

"Hey!" She said, really in Marco's direction. They all smiled at her and said 'hey' back.

"So… what have you been doing?" Marco asked her.

"Oh, a whole bunch of exciting things. I went home, told my mother about my, erm, day, listened to my father drone on and on about business, did my homework and listened to music." Lissa said sarcastically. Marco laughed.

"Sounds like fun." He replied. Lissa grinned. *Oh my gosh, does he know I'm flirting with him?* She thought.

"Ahem," A voice said. It was Ellie. "We're here, you know." She motioned to herself and Ashley. They both turned to each other and started laughing. Lissa's face turned the same familiar color.

"Stop it, guys. Come on, we've got to get to class," Marco said nervously. He knew that there were still five minutes until class started. 

"Well, I'm going to go to my locker. See you guys in Media Immersion." Lissa said to Ellie and Marco, then she left.

"Umm, Marco? Can I speak to you in private?" Ellie asked him. "Is that okay, Ash?" She asked her other friend.

"Okay with me." Ashley said and walked off somewhere to talk to some people that Ellie and Marco didn't know. They walked outside and chose a seat on the bench.

"So… are you going to tell Lissa that you're…" Ellie started, she watched some students pass and waited until they were gone to say the word, "gay." Marco's eyes got really big. *Oh, don't look so stunned.* Ellie thought.

"What do you mean?" Marco asked, absolutely clueless. Ellie rolled her eyes and put her head in her hands.

"She likes you, Marco." She said bluntly. Marco still looked stunned.

"She doesn't like me. Besides, I'm not really ready to… you know, come out yet." Marco whispered. 

"Marco, come on. Do you see the way she looks at you? Her face? Are you absolutely blind? You have to tell her soon before she gets hurt… like I did." Ellie said, her face getting really solemn. Marco felt really bad for her. He didn't know what to say, so he asked her about her last statement.

"Did I really hurt you that bad, El?" He said, trying to meet her gaze to see what she was thinking. Her eyes were filled with hurt and pain.

"Oh, look at the time, come on, we're going to be late for MI." Was Ellie's answer, as she jumped up quickly and headed back into the school. A confused Marco followed her.

~*~

After MI, Ellie headed into the washroom with Lissa, talking about Marco. Lissa's face stayed beet red most of the time, but that was normal for her.

"Lissa, there's something about him that you don't know." Ellie said. She wasn't going to tell Lissa that he was gay, that was his business.

"Oh really?" Lissa asked innocently. "What is it?"

"He can tell you if he wants to." Ellie stated, looking in the mirror and fixing her eye liner. Lissa messed with her bangs a little.

"Okay then." Lissa said simply. Ellie was glad she didn't press the matter, but she didn't know why she brought it up in the first place. She now regretted it. Ellie didn't notice, but as she was fixing her makeup, her arm warmer happened to slide down. Lissa's gaze was fixed on her arm, littered with cuts and scars. 

"What the hell?" Lissa asked, stunned. Ellie looked confused. *What is Lissa talking about?* She thought. Her thoughts were soon answered when she followed her gaze to her arm.

"What the hell did you do to yourself?" Lissa asked, really mad. Before Ellie could protest, Lissa grabbed her arm and pulled the warmer down. Her eyes were transfixed on her arm. About twenty cuts were clearly visible, while dozens of scars littered the top portion of her arm down to her wrist. Lissa kept opening her mouth and closing it while all Ellie could think was: *I'm in deep shit now.*

Finally, Lissa did say something. "I asked you a question."

"It's none of your business." Ellie said angrily. She grabbed her arm warmer and pulled it up.

"It _is_ my damn business," Lissa said, her face on fire from anger, "Does it feel good, Ellie?"

"You have no idea…" Ellie started, "… what goes on in my life. You don't even know me. So leave me the hell alone." With that, she grabbed her books and stormed out of the washroom, leaving a very stunned Lissa behind.

~*~

Thursday, the second of September, 2004.

Dear Diary,

I thought that *some people* were my friends, but I guess I was wrong. I found out something really stunning about Ellie today. She cuts herself. _On purpose. _I'm totally serious about this one. When I asked her about it, she said it was none of my business and stormed out of the washroom. I guess it really wasn't. She also said something about me not knowing anything about her, and I guess that that's true, too. I wonder what _is _going on with her, anyway, even though we're kind of not speaking to each other right now. 

I actually confided in my mother yesterday. I told her all about my nonexistent love life and about Marco and everything after I told him that I wasn't going to listen to any more of his business crap anymore when he doesn't even listen to me. I'm not really going to go into some of the details, but yeah. Gosh, my family is messed up. Yeah we're rich, but money isn't everything. _Seriously. _Some people seem to think that it is, but if you don't have your family, well, you might as well be poor, that's how I see it. 

I really wish I had Ellie's phone number so I could call her and tell her that I'm sorry for butting into her business. I really hate this. Well, that's it for now, diary. We're home.

Lissa xoxo.

~*~

Yes, I ended with another diary entry… I'm so boring, ha ha. Anyway, I was up until midnight writing this chapter and I have school tomorrow so you people better leave me some good reviews, ha ha. 

So long for now,

banana-milk-shake


	4. My Wonderful Life

Ick, sorry about the wait you guys! School has been really stressful lately and I've had a couple of big tests… um, thanks for your reviews anyway! I really need some ideas, but I already know how this story is going to end! Okay, now on with the story!

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Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or any of the characters associated with the show. I do own Lissa, though.

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In this chapter: Lissa (no surprise), Lissa's mom, Marco, Paige and Spinner.

Onward…

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Tuesday, the seventh of September, 2004.

Dear Diary,

I finally decided to take this diary out of my "secret hiding place" and just put it in my room. There's too much going on in my life right now and I really need it here so… yeah.

Ellie's still not speaking to me. Gosh, I wish she would just get over it! Now I don't really see what I did wrong… so I was concerned about her, so what? Can't a _friend _be concerned about another _friend_? At least, I think she considered me as a friend… I hope so. You know what, Diary? I miss her. She was my first friend I made at Degrassi. Well, I still have Marco and Ashley. Marco, as you know, is probably the best thing that's ever happened to me. He supports me. I even cried in front of him yesterday. I can't believe I did that, he probably thinks I'm a total fool. Sigh

Ashley's great, too, but I can never talk to her because she's always around Ellie. She's trying to get us to be friends again, but I don't see that happening anytime soon. I'm really - wait, let me rephrase that - I'm _truly _utterly concerned about her. I saw her cuts on her arms in the bathroom! I'm actually putting my love life on hold for the moment here to be concerned. Maybe she's depressed about something… I don't see what there is to be depressed about, though… but she's right, I hardly know her. Maybe there's something going on in her personal life that I don't know about. What could be so terrible that she wouldn't tell me? It's not like I would tell anyone… who could I tell, anyway? Shit, this whole thing is getting ridiculous.

I'm going to stop talking about Ellie for a while, and concentrate on _my _life. I'm not trying to be selfish or anything, but it's what I really need to do. My parents are fighting again. I'd thought they had stopped years ago, but I guess I was wrong. I heard my mom screaming at my dad for coming in late last night. He said that he had lots of work to catch up on, but my mom didn't buy it. She knew that he had been out at the bar because he reeked of beer. My dad got all red in the face and pushed her hard against the wall. She was crying. I just sat there and watched from the steps like the idiot that I am. The last time I interrupted one of their "arguments" my mom told me to go to my room and that it was nothing… I was nine years old, so of course I obeyed her. I knew I couldn't call the police or anything, so I just stayed in my room and cried myself to sleep… okay, I'd rather not revisit those memories right now (even though I kind of did already). Sigh My life is so screwed up.

Lissa xoxo.

Lissa closed her diary and sighed again. Maybe she and Ellie would never be friends again. Maybe Marco and her would never have a _real_ relationship. Maybe her parents would never stop fighting…

__

'Maybe I should just go to bed,' Lissa thought exasperatedly. She closed her diary and hid it under her bed, walked into her huge bathroom and got dressed for bed. She turned and stared at herself in the mirror. Her dark hair was really messy and was falling freely onto her shoulders. Her bangs were swept over to the side. Her big, dark brown eyes were red and her face was tear strained. She looked a total mess.

__

'I guess the saying is right… money definitely can't buy happiness.' She thought. Turning off the light, Lissa got into her king-sized bed and immediately fell asleep.

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"Lissa! Honey get up!" a voice called over Lissa's bed. She groaned and turned over on her side, away from the voice.

"Come on!" It was her mother. Lissa immediately sat up and stared at her mother. There was an red handprint mark across her face. She knew that her dad had hit her, but she asked who did it anyway.

"Mom. What's that?" Lissa asked, rather irritated. She pointed at the mark.

"It's nothing, darling, don't you worry about it," Her mother replied, totally dismissing the subject. "Now get ready for school."

"Don't 'darling' me! I'm not nine years old anymore!" Lissa cried, hoping out of bed and staring at the mark, red-faced, "He still hits you, doesn't he? I'm calling the police." Her mother grabbed her arm, stopping her before she could get to the phone.

"Don't you _dare _talk to me that way," Her mother said through gritted teeth, "And you're **not **calling the police. You leave me to deal with him." she finished.

"I'm not going to just sit there and let him abuse you like this. Don't you get it, mom? Don't you know what he's doing to you? Or are you just too stubborn to see it?" Lissa regretted the words as soon as they came out of her mouth. The next thing she knew, her mother had slapped her right across the face. Lissa touched the spot, shocked. Her mother had never hit her before.

"Get ready for school." Her mother said again, and stalked out of the room, slamming the door on the way out. Lissa's hand was still on the spot where her mother had hit her and she knew that she had a red handprint mark there just like she did.

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Lissa walked into Degrassi, and immediately started looking for Marco. She found him talking to Spinner and Paige. She scowled, but walked over to him anyway.

"Hey," She said, totally ignoring Paige and Spinner.

"Hey," Marco said back. His eyes traveled to the spot on her cheek. Lissa knew what he was staring at.

"Don't mind that… I uh, fell." Lissa lied lamely (AN: wow, too much alliteration… okay, anyway…) Marco knew she wasn't telling the truth, but didn't press her on the matter.

"Oh." He said. Paige scoffed.

"Hun, it's pretty obvious that you were slapped." she said, running her fingers through her freakishly perfect hair.

Lissa blushed, but despite that she managed to say something back: "Nobody said anything to you, Paige." And then she walked away. Marco looked hurt.

"Maybe I shouldn't have--" He started, but Spinner cut him off.

"It's not you're fault, dude, it's hers. I told you that communicating with the vampires could be risky." he said. Paige scoffed again.

"Sugarbear, that made zero sense." she said.

"Yup, that's me, honeybee. _I _don't make any sense, but you picked me." Spinner said. Paige rolled her eyes, but kissed him on the cheek anyway. Marco still looked worried.

"Marco, don't worry about _her,_" Paige said, breaking away from Spinner and looking at him with distaste in her eyes. "She'll be fine. Anyway, as we were saying before interrupted by freak show…" Paige continued rambling on and on with Spinner, but Marco wasn't listening. His mind was still on Lissa and what happened to her.

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Okay, short, I know but please review anyway! :D I hope that chapter wasn't too awful… I'm in the process of working on a picture of Lissa… I'll put the link here when I'm done.

See ya,

banana-milk-shake


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